Its been a long, long time since I used this bastard. I had to use my openid to post on a website and it forwarded me here and told me I hadn't updated in over 50 weeks. Cool.
So a lot of shit happened a couple of weeks ago. And while I don't really want to talk about it I have one thing to say. Each time you decieve someone, example lieing or telling half truths that alter what is percieved by the person you are talking to, your relationship takes a hit. In certain situations it is more forgivable than in others. But you can get it back to where it was but that energy which could have been spent improving said relationship now has to be spent maintaining it.
I use relationship in the broadest sense of the word.
But here is where perhaps it gets ironic. You decieve someone and you feel disconnected. Sure after a few times they will feel more disconnected too but you take the initial hit. You decieve someone and you don't trust THEM. I have been decieved so many times by a lot of the relationships in my life. Some of those people are still around, most aren't.
Yeah and it sucks when you tell the truth to someone and they back away as a result of it. I have done my share of deception too. Perhaps more than other people. Maybe that is why I have always watched for it in other people.
I could always trust in myself to not push people away because of the truths they told, but I rarely, if ever, trust another person to do the same. But lately I have been telling the truth to people when they ask and it is refreshing. So, so refreshing. Yeah maybe a few things are still too personal for me to talk about but overall I am happier because of it.
Anyways there is my first real post in years I think. I don't know if anyone besides usagi_moon
still updates their journals, but i have enjoyed reading those latest posts.
Anyways I'm off to watch tv probably.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: calm